Through BS comes clarity

Its very funny because the title of this blog has changed three times. It started off as “my first X on the calendar”. I was told this story about a PCV who decided that everytime she had a day where she wanted to ET (early terminate) she would put an X on her calendar and then wait one week and if she felt the same way then she would seriously consider it. Yesterday was an X day. I decided that this didn’t work though because the story continued. Next I decided to call it, “mamma said there’d be days like this”, but that didn’t seem to work either because I couldn’t just sit back and let Africa bitch slap me. So I think I’ve settled on “Through bullshit comes clarity” I think it works. Read the story and you decide.
Yesterday was Wednesday, which to me means two things. 1- Hump day and 2- Boring meeting day. Every Wednesday it seems the school calls these incredibly boring meetings which take up 5 hours and bore everyone to death. No one questions these meetings or challenges them, they just accept- like a dog with a collar. I guess it takes the new girl and some very interesting doodles on her paper to shake things up a bit. After teaching for four house (which doesn’t seem like a lot until you’ve been in a Cameroonian classroom when you are still figuring out how to discipline kids with out hitting them- everyone else’s method). My kids had deranged me insanely all day and I had to send some to the Discipline master which I hate doing because I know he beats them. Well I was already feeling the stress this week because I’ve been here a month and still haven’t made any significant friends except my post mate- Rachel’s- cat whom I was taking care of. Well Rachel returned on Wednesday and I knew I had to give the cat back. There was a light at the end of the tunnel though, I am going to Batouri to fill my gas tank for the weekend- and I am super excited. Well anyway, I was very stressed out and after the meeting started 40 minutes late I sat through the reading of what seemed like dozens of pieces of paper talking about different problems with the education system- the same problems we had all discussed last week with no solutions. Anyway, I’m doodling away and most of the teachers are watching or falling asleep when the Proviseur gets a phone call. This is no uncommon and he exits the meeting which he is running and talks for a while. While he is gone th eDisicpline master decides its time to humiliate me. Infront of everyone he starts telling me that my classes are too loud and I’m not trying and I’m not strong enough and I need to hit the kids. This is the first I’ve heard about this and he decides to yell at me infront of all my collegues. I try to tell him that I am having a competition in my classes where the students are in teams and they are given points for responses to questions so they are very involved in the lesson and often loud. This doesn’t seem to matter he is still angry.
So I am a bit upset but its all good, critizism even if it ocmes in a crappy package is still good and constructive. But then the meeting continues for another 2 hours and as I am planning a quiz for the next day and not even trying to listen because my French skills at this point are totally gone, I hear “Miss” and in French “are you paying attention this is all about me” Then the proviseur (principal) proceeds to echo the comments that he didn’t know the Discipline master had already yelled at me about. Except the proviseur has even less tact, I’m not even sure he knows the word. After a while I am in tears and trying to be cool and deal with the meeting. No one backs me up and no one lets me explain- if I could in French. So the meeting continues and now when I finally think its over- it turns out we have to all eat together and then get a beer. Well after a little cous cous I call it a night because I have to go get Rachel’s cat and give it to her.
So I walk home very upset and trying to not be overwhelmed. I get home and clal my very good friend Gloria who is an angel and she starts talking me off the ledge, when my neighbors arrive with the cat- they are holding it upside down by the tail. They tell me it got run over by a motorcycle. Wow- could the day get better?
Thankfully Rachel was totally nice about it and said it was okay and it happens (but she didn thave to see the body) I take a ridiculously long run so I don’t freak out. But when I get back- after being totally upset, I realize I have 10 texts from different people in Cameroon who care about me and are sending me their love and support. Then today I decide to tlak to the proviseur about his lack of tact and my new method of discipline and after having a very annoying discussion where I wasn’t understood or given a chance to speak, my friend the German teacher asked me what was a matter. And sometimes you just need a sympathetic ear.
We ended up talking for an hour about discipline and tact and my experiences and my new teacher status and pedagogy- all in friench! And it was awesome, I even cried which was totally embarrassing and he was really nice about it. Then I taught and it went a really well and the students were very nice to me even after I punished them, like nothing happened. Then I went to Rachel’s and had a great time talking about her trip to England and meeting her new cat (she brought one back to give to someone but decided to keep it). Then my neighbors came over (2 12 year old girls and their 5 little sisters) and we translated French songs to English and english songs to French for each other and talked for a long time. Then I went to the market and met a man on the street who talked with me a long time about various interesting things. I think it’s the first time I’ve had an actual interesting conversation with someone.
I realized that shitty things happen, but people are the same anywhere- they have your back and care about you, they just don’t know how to show it when you aren’t very well acquainted. I’m going to continue being myself and doing what I do and trying to understand the culture I know there are going to be some really crappy days- but even if I feel totally alone I’ve got friends all over the country, well the world that have my back and care, and sometimes you jus tneed a text message that says ‘screw it- when you come to Batouri this weekend we’ll go dancing” That’s what got me through today with a good outlook. I’m doing well everyone, even though shit happens. Love you all and miss you! Elyse


I wrote this a few days ago so I just wanted to update it and say that I went to Batouri and had a fabulous time! We made stuffed tomatoes adn went dancing and watched tons of The Office season 3. I'm really glad that only 5 hours away are some really great people that have my back I love you all and please don't worry about me, I"m having a great time and enjoying the challenges that every day brings.

Muah- Big hug